Pankow Schwimmhalle
LAST SPLASH
Don’t jump in at the deep end or you’ll land on your face with a mouthful of broken glass. Someone pulled the plug on this pool and it hasn’t been fit for swimming since. Yep, the well’s run dry for this one.
Berlin is incredibly careless with its swimming pools. More are abandoned than not. Pankow Schwimmhalle is just one of many. It’s probably not even the most exciting one.
I always wanted to have a look at the Stadtbad Oderberger Straße – a wonderful building adorned by fantastic sculptures – but I never managed to get in before the construction workers did. In the end they “sanifyied” it. I feared the worst, but at least you can still visit if you can pay.
No one gives a damn about the Pankow Schwimmhalle though. No fear of that being “saniert” or rehabilitated. It’s not even a Schwimmhalle anymore but a Schwimmha le, according to the sign outside.
“Where’s the water?” my young sidekick asked. He was incredibly disappointed, devastated. I guess he wanted to go swimming. I certainly didn’t. It was far too cold for swimming. There was snow on the ground at the time.
You’re still not allowed smoke inside. “Rauchen verboten” is written in big unmistakable letters as soon as you walk in. How the Germans managed to smoke when they were swimming is beyond me, but I guess these are Berliners we’re talking about. Berliners like nothing more than suffocating themselves in small poorly ventilated smoke-filled rooms illuminated by candles. I guess they swam with candles too – they weren’t verboten.
It’s always 9:22 here, no matter what other clocks say. Time stopped the moment the pool ran dry. (It’s 10:18 on the other side of the same clock, but both of them have to be right twice a day.)
The Schwimmhalle or “swim hall” was built in 1971 as part of Freibad Pankow, which still operates to this day. I went there once. Never again.
The architect, Gunther Derdau, saw it as a prototype for “swim halls” all over Berlin. He must be turning in his grave if he’s dead, or merely pissed off if he’s alive.
It had a 25-meter swimming pool for the athletes, and another 12 x 8.5-meter pool. There was also a sauna where things got steamy, as if they weren’t steamy enough already among the good people of the DDR.
Well, like many endeavors in the German Democratic Republic, it came to a sorry end once commercial aspects, costs and profits were taken into account.
In 1996, it was taken over by the Berliner Bäderbetrieben, who did it up and reopened it in 2001, all to no avail. It was closed the following year when income failed to meet costs.
There was also a sauna where things got steamy, as if they weren’t steamy enough already among the good people of the DDR.
There are plans now to knock it down and replace it with a multifunctional complex comprising two swimming pools – one for casual swimmers, the other for sporting types – as well as a sauna with sauna garden.
Hold on, I hear you say. Isn’t that what they had there already? Well, indeed you’re right, but the Pankow Bezirksamt and Berliner Bäder-Betriebe also want to construct a whole new primary school campus with sports halls and facilities on the premises, thus supplying ready-made customers for the new pool complex.
They presented their plans in 2018. We’re still waiting for them to splash out on them.
LOCATION AND ACCESS (HOW TO FIND GUIDE)
What: Pankow Schwimmhalle, an indoor swimming pool complex with one big pool, one little, a sauna and all the changing rooms, showers and swim-related accessories you’d expect. It’s fucked now.
Where: Wolfshagener Straße 91-93, 13187 Berlin, Germany.
How to get there: Well, there are many ways. You can get the No. 50 tram to Mendelstraße and walk from there, or get one of the U2, S8, S2 or S9 to Pankow and walk a little further from there. It ain’t far. Here’s a map to assist you.
Getting in: There’s a fence outside but it might as well not be there. There’s also some red and white murder scene tape around the place, as if someone was murdered. Maybe they were. None of them put off the young fella as he barged through. If a three-year-old can do it, so can you.
When to go: Daytime if you want to see stuff, nighttime if you want to party. I don’t know what the neighbors are like so cannot advise in advance if it’s a safe place to party. Only one way to find out. Let me know!
Difficulty rating: 1/10 Very easy. A three-year-old can do it.
Who to bring: You can bring your kid but there is a fair bit of broken glass around, and parts of it are quite dangerous for little people. Maybe it’s better to bring someone you don’t care so much about. Bring your girlfriend/boyfriend instead, your “friends” if you want to have a party.
What to bring: Don’t bring your togs or bikini unless you simply want to pose around 1980s style. There ain’t no water no never no more so forget about actually swimming. Bring some beer if you want to go drinking, some food if you want to go eating, and some camera if you want to go snapping.
Dangers: Drowning can be safely written off as a danger. Instead, there are just the usual: watch out for nosy neighbors and the Polizei, who may or may not be in cahoots together. Neither can resist frolicking in a good comfortable cahoot together.
Filed 14/5/2014 | Updated 19/4/2020